Two months ago when I decided to quit my job to pursue photography, I had no idea I would adjust so... unnoticeably. I suppose it makes sense that the transition would be easy, given that I was working against everything I wanted to do when I took coffee orders instead of taking photos, but it still surprised me today when I thought about how tomorrow is Friday and didn't feel the dread I thought would be engrained in my psyche for many years to come. Weekends were an unholy thing, made even worse when you're the only person you know who works a full weekend. Thursday's aren't great either; they almost touch the muck. Wednesday's, you're starting to smell it.
Yeah, near the end there, and even really not near the end at all, I really hated working.
It wasn't even my job that I hated. When I was at work, I was perfectly happy most of the time. My workplace was admittedly one of the better ones. A warm French deli & cafe, full of culture and free food where you were mostly not yelled at for no reason. In all honesty, I was lucky for that to be the place I dreaded going to. I've had worse jobs, for sure. If any of them had drawn out for over two years, there may have been a lot more late nights angrily egging the Lamborghini sales yard. The French Deli was a good place to work, comparatively. It was the thoughts in the time leading up to when I had to be at work that made it painful, the realization that this weekend I would, once again, be helping fulfill someone else's ambitions and ignoring my own.
No one, as of yet, has looked at my photography, hitched up and eyebrow and said "...okay, just don't quit your day job".
So I did.
It was the best decision I've made in a long time.
Even while working, I managed to squeeze in test shoots with a modelling agency called Clyne, because I finally got to the point where I was able to approach them and I owe it to myself and them to photograph any models they want to throw at me. Test shoots need to be quite simple, though; nothing outrageous, and they usually can't be heavily conceptual or wacky and that's the stuff I love to do. I sometimes still hit up a website I first started networking on to find people who want to collaborate on personal work so I can get the wackiness out of my system. I never had time for that and test shoots while I was working, but now I do!
This week I had a great shoot; it was the first time I shot with a clothing designer/stylist (Sarah Horton Designs and her beautiful pieces), as well as finally being able to work with the make up artist Paige Best... Which is something I've been wanting to do for a while! She does beautiful work and make up is her full time job but she still manages to give her time to projects like this! I adored this team. I realized afterwards that I was still in the headspace of a test shoot and didn't push my imagination that far out of the box, but now that I have the time to do more personal work I'll have time to work on making that separation more clear.